so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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