Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
