the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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