EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I want to fling myself into the sun
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
