can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
