I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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