i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
