No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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