OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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