My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
