saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
