apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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