i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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