He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
