In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
