I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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