You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
