We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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