i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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