Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Still dying that you shit outside
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
