Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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