Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
