this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
