So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
