Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who died my cat blue again?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
