I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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