im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
