Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
