Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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