Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
