the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize