This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
