(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
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Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
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