Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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