sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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