Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize