so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
