six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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