I heard we made out
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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