If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She told me I should be a condom model.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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