party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
