I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
