imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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