you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
