You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize