Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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