More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
