then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
