My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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