some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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