winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
