I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
