So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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