I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How's work?
Spinning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
