You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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