I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
