I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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