I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
