My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize