is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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