I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
